States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
