I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
