the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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