If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
