he thought i was a dude.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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