and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
