he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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