Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
