I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize