Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
