I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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