seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
