I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
