Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
