come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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