You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
