Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
