Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
