peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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