im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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