Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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