butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
