that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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