Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
