Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
