so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize