I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
