all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
