Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
