Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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