just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
