my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
