Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
