My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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