do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
