I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
