just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
