I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
