Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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