i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Even my vagina gasped.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
