i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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