okay pat passed out under dana's car
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
