Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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