Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
