We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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