What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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