the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
