you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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