He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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