i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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