Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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