So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Randomize
