Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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