Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
