And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
