we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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