we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
